wishfulaces: (Default)
So last month my mom and I, randomly, wrote a fairy tale. Via texts. Y'know, a sentence or two at a time, back and forth.

I cleaned it up a bit for typos, auto correct shenanigans, and my mom's inability to find the quotes on her phone )




My Auntie Ethel died yesterday. This grief is strange to me--she's been fading away for years now, mentally, to the point the past few times I've seen her I'm not always sure she remembers who I am, only that she knows and likes me; my mom today said she's been missing her sister for years, and it's true. (We used to have such conversations--she was the best aunt for a precocious pre-teen, who would sit and listen and engage; I could still talk to her about what I was studying up until grad school.) And after the wrench that was my dad last year, after the pain and duty that came after his passing, this is...strangely light. I can grieve without having to worry about who will look after mom and how the hell do I administer an estate and who will take care of the cat. I can just be sad.
wishfulaces: (squee!)
I had big plans to track down the perfect poem for today (because you know this is National Poetry Month here in the U.S.), something dignified and reflective and fitting of my entering a new era in my life.

Yeah, that didn't happen.

So, since it is also apparently National Humor Month, Here, have a virtual cupcake instead. )

Maturity? Pah! That's for amateurs. Or something. If you'll excuse me, I have to go giggle somewhere now.
wishfulaces: (hobbit hands)
Last night my choir director was about to have us finish rehearsal by working on the "Estampie Natalis" piece, but then he said "Wait, I lied, we're not going to do that" (for the dozenth time at least during this rehearsal), and he stepped away from his music stand and leant against the pulpit--we rehearse in a church--and told us thank you for being in this choir, and thank you for helping this choir exist. Because it's a nonauditioned choir of mixed voices and talents and not every community has such a choir, and it's a time of year to think about such things for which we are thankful.

And so he had us mix again--tenors next to sopranos next to altos next to basses; we'd done a little of that earlier in the evening when struggling to stay in tune and on key--and we sang "The Gift" instead. And I had tears in my eyes because I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and because ten years ago this Thanksgiving my Uncle Buddy died, and this year has kinda been all about that mortality and grief and love that is such an essential part of life.

Back in June 2009, I wrote about things I love, and Thanksgiving that year I wrote about things for which I was grateful, and it all still holds true.

Tomorrow night I fly back to see my parents, who are still on dial-up, so happy turkey day, Americans; and happy week, everyone else; and thank you for being your awesome selves.
wishfulaces: (fly)
The thing about my job is, I find myself tracking down information about truly random digressions in history. Like Dorothea Dix's crusade to...send a lot of boats to an island in Nova Scotia to save people. IDEK, but it made for an entertaining afternoon?

I got back from my trip to Belgium and Amsterdam earlier this week. Things I learned and/or did during the ten days I was traveling:

1. My nose really, really hates dry recycled air, such as found in airports & on airplanes.
2. Having Belgian friends who have Belgian friends comes in REALLY HANDY when you miss the last train from Ghent to Brussels & need a place to crash for a few hours.
3. You really probably can get a contact high in Amsterdam, and the city really is apparently mostly populated by British tourists on stag parties.
4. I am a far, far more confident traveler than I used to be. Like, even since last year.
5. It's okay to squabble and get pissed off with your friends, because they're your friends and are squabbling and pissed off with you, and then you end up drinking beer across the street from a church older than the U.S. has existed as a country under an awning while the rain falls at midnight, sharing stupid blogs to read when you're bored at work and need a five minute break. Or you're tickle-attacking on the bed while trying to pack, or in the midst of a deep philosophical discussion about the reason and need for history, but that's another story.
6. I need to live in a city with canals. I also need to visit Venice, like, stat. And go back to Germany for a cuckoo clock for my mom. (That's just an excuse. I really just need to go back to Germany. And get to a lot of other countries too, but that will be another year.)
7. Blame T for everything. Everything. She might be in the bathroom getting a shower, but that broken bowl in the kitchen is still totally her fault.
8. Belgian chocolate really is just that good. As are wasabi peas, especially when one's nose really, really hates dry recycled air.

There's more. It was good, and I haven't really had time to process yet, but that's what this weekend is for. I might even get around to posting pictures. In sum, My Summer Vacation in Belgium: we ate a lot of fries, drank a lot of beer, and bought a lot of chocolate. And it was good.
wishfulaces: (painted darien)
NEW LEVERAGE TOMORROW.

Er. This is as much here for my benefit as for anyone else's who is interested. I might be missing it, if I go to that free concert in the park tomorrow evening...

I worked with fusable glass this morning, making a picture frame for a picture for my mom for her birthday in September. I have never in my life worked with glass in such a way before (though it did bring back memories of working with Plexi...) We'll see if I actually managed to make something pretty? And if I actually had the right size frame for a 4x6 picture? I'm easy, since I have time to make this right. And I really want to make this right, since it's one of those ahem birthdays.

Right. I think it might be time to go jump in a pool.
wishfulaces: (Guildenstern)
Okay, why did nobody tell me that being on the other side of the table is about as exhausting as being the one interviewed?

We finally made a decision today about who we want to hire for this admin position. This sucks, man, this sucks like an industrial-strength hoover. (okay, no, the applicants we chose to interview were all awesome and would all be awesome at this job. Choosing, though? Sucked. Because now I know there's going to be a horde of disappointed locals, including five we interviewed who didn't get the job. Oy.)

...I have no thoughts. I'm mostly exhausted right now, for various reasons that may or may not be explored at a later juncture, and I don't really have any thoughts right now. I will confess, here and only here, that I've been sort of mainlining Star Trek: Voyager as soon as Netflix sends me the DVDs. I'm only about halfway through the first season but, oh, I never expected it to be comfort food for the brain ten years later.
wishfulaces: (federal agents)
Tomorrow, after work--which is probably going to be crazy-mad-busy anyway, because I'm trying to export a thousand MARC records (I'm not even exaggerating for once, though that is an ongoing project) and deal with politicians' records because everybody's office is changing over in January and large manuscript donations are coming in...sometime, we don't exactly know when, and I've got to enroll in new health insurance--tomorrow, after all that, I still have to make myself dinner, bake dad an applesauce cake, clean all my accumulating piles of dishes, and figure out my monies because I'm closing out one retirement account and have to figure out if I want to a) put it in another company-based retirement account, b) put it in an traditional IRA, or c) put it in a Roth IRA, and while I'm leaning toward the Roth, I still need to reread stuff about the differences and the pros and cons and, argh, money, financial future, retirement, blah, etc. It's not really a large amount of money--though it's bigger than I expected--but it's still potentially taxable income, and I have been screwed enough over taxes often enough in the past.

You know, you would think after writing about topics such as that, I would feel more like an adult and less like the perpetual intern. And yet? I still can't believe anybody trusts me to do anything.
wishfulaces: (hobbit hands)
Since yesterday afternoon, leaving work an hour early, I have

--gotten a fabulous haircut
--painted my fingernails
--watched a bunch of catch-up telly
--written a rough draft for one fic (OMG you guys, your prompts are awesome, by the by, and it is so gleeful to be writing fic again for the first time in, um, some months)
--slept for ten hours
--made pancakes with blueberry sauce for breakfast (someday, I shall learn that I mostly fail at making blueberry sauce; it's a great disappointment to me)
--listened to crazy happy dancy music (it's hard to dance around a wooden spoon while stirring blueberry sauce, let me tell you, and yet I try to do to it every time)
--caught up on LJ while drinking CHAI

Still to do today, I have to

--bake a carrot cake
--mainline more telly in order to write more fic
--write more fic
--read more fic written by others, yay
--record lines in a gleefully crap German accent (it makes a change from a gleefully crap English accent?)
--take a BATH
--and do other fun, non-work-related, non-boring-life related things.
--oh, and wash dishes. Because washing dishes is perpetual.

I am totally digging so far four days of not going anywhere outside the boundaries of this county. I might be missing a ten-year high school reunion, I might have accidentally disappointed my aunt by not coming to her Thanksgiving (I warned her!), I might have disappointed a friend by not driving to Colorado to see her, I might have turned down an invitation to join a co-worker's and friend's Thanksgiving (at which I would have to be right about now, rather than lounging about in my sweats drinking CHAI), I might not be having turkey and pumpkin pie today, but I am thankful, oh so very thankful, for the time to decompress and be alone and catch up with myself.

I'm thankful for family and friends too, and I'm thankful that I'm taking this weekend to be alone because I've been traveling about and running around visiting with many of them for the past few months, and I'm thankful that I've had the opportunity to do all the traveling and running about.

so Happy Turkey Day, Americans, and happy Thursday, everyone else on my flist, and quite massive bear hugs to you all.
wishfulaces: (waaaaaaall-e)
The next three weeks are hellacious.

* Article I co-wrote was accepted by a journal last week. So yesterday we got reviewers' comments & have 3 weeks to revise. There's only some minor restructuring of the article. Tonight I went from the defensive omg-don't-say-mean-things-about-me-I-mean-my-work phase to the omg-why-the-hell-did-they-accept-this-piece-of-crap phase, so I'm probably right on track. With the added bonus of if-my-co-author-so-much-as-touches-my-sections-again-I'll-kill-him-even-if-he's-two-states-removed phase, so that's fun.

* Committee chair for a committee I'm on in a professional association asked me to pull together the comments/concerns we've all been discussing about our procedures/rules for a telephone conference we're going to be holding in 3 weeks.

* Volunteered last night at one choir to join the cabaret committee, which means in the next couple weeks contacting some caterers to find out food and price options.

* Starting a second choir tomorrow night, hopefully, since I missed the first rehearsal last week because my mom was in town.

* Started a seven-week course last week (yeah, even though mom was in town) on women & money: getting organized, getting budget in order, understanding investments, planning retirement, etc. 2.5 hours every Thursday night, which on the one hand isn't a lot of time but on the other is.

* Went to the dentist today, had to schedule another appointment for next month to get some fillings replaced; going to the eye doctor next week; got an estimate for some body work on my car today because I wanted to know how bad the damage was before deciding whether to call the insurance company and yeah, I'm calling the insurance company. Some fucker decided to pummel my driver's side door, it looks like--I do not actually have any idea what the hell happened--and that kinda pisses me off. But that means scheduling with the claims adjuster, and then hopefully scheduling the repair work, and I'd kinda rather do it sooner than later.

* Have started full-on MARC cataloging at work--last week, this week--and yeah, new skills, new challenges, lots of omg-I'm-doing-this-all-wrong flailing. But this is how I learned EAD, extremely basic HTML, any other computer-related skill I've picked up in the past 15 years, so what the hell, let's hear it for on-the-job training.

In sum, the lesson from all this: DON'T SCHEDULE EVERYTHING FOR SEPTEMBER AND OCTOBER.
wishfulaces: (sunflowers)
I have cleaned today. The kind of cleaning that involves actually moving the furniture so I can vacuum under it. This was after waking up at a quarter to seven on about five hours sleep (or maybe less), driving 3.5 hours across the state line, and doing some Christmas shopping. Tomorrow I still have to do the real hard work--cleaning the kitchen and bathrooms, not to mention laundering the sheets at my aunt's house so my mom will have somewhere to sleep next week when she visits--but at least the bedrooms and living room are officially clean. And they'd bloody well better stay that way for the next couple weeks while company are around.

My Thanksgiving weekend so far has been pretty marvelous. I enjoyed visiting with my family, going from group to group to listen to and participate in the conversations, I enjoyed playing with my cousin's kids and then giving them back to her and my aunt when I drove away, I even enjoyed watching the blasted football games. And then I got to hang out with a couple of my friends on Friday, watching the sunset at the top of a hill drinking coffee (because we were so tired, but we'd all agreed that taking a nap would not be a productive use of our time together) and discussing Important Things, eating cheese and drinking a bottle of wine, watching a Christmas movie with one of my friend's family, staying up late playing music and talking. There were lots of pets everywhere for me to play with too. No leftovers for me, but I did get my pumpkin pie.

Last night, as we walked down the hill back to the car after sunset, I said to my friend that we're all settling down, the people in our age bracket; we'd both noticed ourselves changing a lot just in the past year or so, and that it's not thirty when this all happens. "I hope not," was her instant response, and I hastened to explain what I meant--becoming the adults we're supposed to become, phrases like that. But I think what I really meant is that we're getting a little steadier, internally if not externally.

But that's quite enough contemplation and physical labor; I'm going to take a bath, get dinner, and sprawl in front of the idiot box. Yay.
wishfulaces: (all the world's a stage)
1. I have now joined the ranks of individuals who have changed their clothes in the car. Including my bra, and holy Hannah, that was awful. (I wouldn't have done it if I could have worn the other bra with this shirt, but no, the straps would have shown.) I can now check undressing-and-dressing-in-a-car off my list. My unexpected and unknown list, on which items only seem to get added after I've already done them.

2. This week has been, to put it mildly, insane. I haven't had this insane of a week since, er, beginning of last year, I think. At least this week is officially over and I made it out relatively intact. (Note to self: things really do usually work out. So don't freak out so much next time.)

3. I also managed, in the midst of the insanity, to watch the first episode of The Unusuals. It sort of felt like Life on Mars doing "Barney Miller." Complete with the 'taches.

4. I went to Phantom of the Opera tonight--first time I've ever seen it live--and it has been so long since I've been to a theatre big enough and expensive enough that I was practically in the nosebleeds. I would have enjoyed it more I'm sure if my HEAD HADN'T BEEN KILLING ME--dehydration, lack of sleep, and a week's worth of major stress FTW!--but I managed to enjoy it quite a lot anyway. Aaaaand it felt like it was 1990 all over again, particularly with the crashing chords we all know and love at the beginning. (My sister's high school graduation! She got them to use it for the slideshow. Oh gods, it is 1990 all over again!)

5. The three rules of the road that Cam teaches Teal'c in their Epic Bromance Road Trip (it's a thing, don't ask): a) Nebraska sucks, b) there's always visitor centers at state lines except when you really need them (hence CHANGING IN THE CAR, but Cam doesn't know about that bit) and c) singing, no matter how shit your voice is, is perfectly acceptable on a road trip. Even with the windows rolled down.

6. I'm in a directing class at the local civic theatre. I haven't done any sort of stage work in, like, five years, and I have never directed before in my life. But those of us in the class were being actors last week so one of us could take a stab at directing, and then *I* was the one doing the directing, and holy crap, it's both the same and completely different from acting. Actually, it's kinda like writing. You are my puppets! Let me pull on your strings and make you dance to my mad tune! Muahahahahaha. Etc.

7. It's a good thing my vices are multitudinous, or I would be so screwed.

8. I have not seen the new Doctor Who yet, I'm saving it for tomorrow. That said, happy birthday to me. Boo-yah. (ETA: okay, it's a day or two early, but since my birthday is on a Monday this year, I appear to have made it a birthday weekend. Why not, huh?)

9. I really ought to go to bed now. Before my head falls off.

10. There is no ten, but nine felt lonely.
wishfulaces: (sofa of reasonable comfort)
I broke my back at work yesterday (okay, really, I broke it 3.5 years ago in a previous life as a box monkey, but yesterday still had my back going, "OW NO DON'T DO THAT AGAIN") and I had to get up stupidly early this morning in order to drop my car off to get it fixed. I backed into a pillar (it was holding up a hotel) a couple days after Thanksgiving and cracked the panel over the front driver's side tire. GOOD TIMES.

(Oh, OH. And last night, stretching out my back, I rolled over and whacked my hip on the bed frame. Grace, baby, grace. Crawling into bed basically consisted of me whining "owwwwwww" a lot.)

I've never directly had to deal with the insurance company before; last time I had an accident I was still under my parents' coverage. The claims adjuster gave me a check for everything but the deductible the day he looked at my car for an estimate. Is that normal?

Aaaand it went from the mid-40s yesterday to a dusting of snow today. Thank you, midwestern weather; you never, ever bore me.
wishfulaces: (oh god I'm so depressed)
In the past four days, I have (in no particular order): talked to my new financial adviser about my investment portfolio (it sounds so snazzy said that way, doesn't it?), seen a surprisingly well-done version of Kiss Me, Kate (the ending makes me hugely uncomfortable but I'm a sucker for some good ol'fashioned song & dance routines), hiked on half-a-dozen trails at the Indiana State Dunes (I only actually finished one, though--but hey! I visited the trail where I sprained my shoulder! And didn't sprain it again, though I did almost trip and fall a number of times), driven through the wilds of O'Hare International Airport all by myself, danced two jigs & a reel, unpacked, soaked in a rose-scented bath, cleaned up the museum courtyard, and helped host a pie & ice cream social at the museum tonight. I've got a run in my stockings, I ate far too much blueberry pie (it was REALLY GOOD), and I am looking forward to taking this Saturday off to sit absolutely still in my apartment and not talk to a single person. Oh gods, it's still only Monday. I think I need more pie to cope.
wishfulaces: (dean)
The glories of coming to true adulthood means that I can rent a car, no holds barred. Which I did for the first time today, coming home for a weekend. They whisk you through like mad, and for somebody who has no clue like me, has been up since seven this morning and traveling since three this afternoon (it was eight p.m. by this point), it was all a bit bewildering. But the fabulous thing about it? (After the unnaturally cheerful Jamaican guy who drove the shuttle from the airport to the agency, that is.) I rented a compact/economy car, only there weren't any in the lot so the attendent told me just to grab a full-size (and then he told me to hurry 'cos they'd just brought back a compact car). Being tired and in a hurry to get out, I chose one that had a kinda pretty color and that could easily leave the parking lot. Only after I glanced at the card inside did I realize I'd picked a Chevy Impala ('07, natch).

And after the first difficulties ("How do I move the seat? Are the headlights on already?! Where's the shift--oh, there it is. How the hell do I get out of this parking lot?"), I got it all sorted out and got to drive through Chicago traffic. And holy damn that is one sweet ride. But then, I've gotten pretty used to my basic Saturn. Aaaaand I really, really miss Chicagoland. I wished I'd been staying there to visit friends rather than driving the 90 minutes home, but I've got more weekends in later months this year to come back and enjoy the big city life. (AKA: The nice thing about being single without children and living under budget is TRAVEL.)
wishfulaces: (CHOCOLATE)
OMG, I made it. I've tried to post about five times and every time it crashed Firefox. WTF???

Anyway. We had an exhibit opening tonight. It was good. The interesting bits, for me, were the buildup yesterday and today. I got dumped with doing the label text very last-minute, all this week, due to circumstances beyond all our control, so I'd been immersing myself into the exhibit as far as I could that way, and then yesterday we all kinda threw any procrastinating we had left to the winds because we had the opening tonight and it had to get done.

And the energy, the near-panic kept at bay somehow, the stress, the punchy hysterical giggling--it's the same sort of situation I've gone through so many times before, between high school Drama Club and putting together the lobby display for Rep Term senior year and other things like that. We worked till ten last night, and then the chief curator was in all day today doing last-minute finishing touches & I came in at noon. I've worked here long enough that my co-workers are all, "It's after two; she's giggling again," but yesterday they were like, "Did you sneak some of the Sangria for the opening?" I was so bad.

But, but--and this is probably the bad thing that I shouldn't admit to, or at least I shouldn't work off of--I love that energy. Some people say they work best under pressure; I usually suck under pressure, but when it's this kind of project--when I've got this pounding bass drumbeat in the back of my head chanting, "Get it done get it done get it done," and it's this sort of communal hysteria that we all throw ourselves into--that's the good adrenaline. And maybe it is good that I like to work off that kind of energy, 'cos I'm sure it'll have to stand me in good stead no matter where I work because I have never known a project such as this to go off without having to pull at least one or two days like that right before it goes up.

All that said, I'm not sure my feet will ever forgive me for the past week.
wishfulaces: (nobody ever expects the midwest)
Dude. There's probably about three characters in all of the TV universes I have ever seen that manage to piss me off so completely within five seconds of appearing onscreen.

Um, yeah, I'm watching "Lost City" since it's on and I have no idea where my copy is. Someday, I shall be able to afford DVDs. That will be a good day. Until then, I'll just keep paying my cable bill.

Oh, Jack. Just sitting and...waiting. Oh, Jack.

I cooked blueberry pancakes tonight. The first couple were a little more dark and crispy than I usually prefer--I really dislike having to figure out electric stoves; gas stoves, or at least my mom's gas stove, seem a lot less tetchy--but I wasn't concerned. It was going to be a nice, yummy dinner. Till I discovered they were still raw on the inside.

Stupid pancakes.

It has been a very weird week at work--my boss had to interview for his job, along with some other candidates, and he doesn't think he'll get to keep his job; a design group we were going to contract with backed out--and it is only going to get weirder this next month. I want to curl up in a corner of my bed with my teddy bear. Or get really drunk. Or both. I walked into my boss's office, holding up the paint samples I was taking to a lab to get analyzed for lead (and, of course, it *is* lead paint I'm dealing with because my job isn't hard enough) and he thought it was marijuana. "Well, after the way this week has gone..." I told him.
wishfulaces: (flutter by butterfly)
Okay, it's getting kinda old when I keep doing the neurotic melodramatic thing. Watched Proof tonight, from the play by David Auburn. Didn't hate it, unexpectedly. But it triggered neurotic melodrama and...yeah. No thanks.

Sloooooowly settling into my job. My boss fed me chicken strips from DQ at lunch today because he didn't want all his. (I love my boss. He is of the Awesome and I wish the board would make him the real director, not just interim.) Bitched about academia and public history and, well, life as a curator with co-worker today. Still feel like an intern a lot of the time, but maybe that'll change when late August/early September rolls around and I'm still working full time? (At least I'm working. Oh my gods, at least I'm working.) I waver between total overwhelming insecurity and breathing in relief because I seem to be coping well enough.

I don't think about it, I don't notice it, but I can be a very self-contained individual. Then again, I hate to speak up in groups unless I'm comfortable. Still, I'm getting the hang of it. Slowly.

Have been working on fic. (No, really.) I've got something for [livejournal.com profile] whofest, but I'm dissatisfied with it and keep poking at it and getting nowhere. Fitz and Eight, AU after the Earth Arc. Anyone wanna look at it? Pretty please? *bats eyelashes*
wishfulaces: (crack)
I'm watching Sci-Fi Friday on a FRIDAY and you have no idea how exciting that is because I haven't been able to do that in two years.

I am a geek in many, many ways.

Pegasus Project )

Didn't pay much attention to "Irresistible." I really can't stand that sort of premise. And Carson said "Och." I had to run away.

*

And in real life, I worked my first full week at my first real job and today I drove my boss, a member of the museum board, and my co-worker to Wichita (which I've never driven before, and none of us really knew where we were going when we went to visit the designers) and did not get us in an accident, despite that firetruck starting its siren just as I was turning left in front of it. Oh yes, I am just that competent.
wishfulaces: (Never could get the hang of Thursdays.)
I had a dream this morning, and I was going to write it down because it had been quite vivid and I remembered it after I woke up, but I didn't have time before work and then I forgot it all. But I know it was one of those fairly normal-but-twisted dreams.

I get those a lot. Where it could almost be real life, but there's bits and pieces that are just a few degrees off what I generally know to be true. That's the sort of dream I have and remember most often, not the cracked-out ones where I'm mowing the lawn in a swimming pool or TV characters invade my subconscious and do random things. I think on the whole I prefer the cracked-out dreams because the almost-real ones are just...creepier. Make me start doubting my own sanity again (did that really happen or did I just dream it?) and I really hate that feeling. Plus those dreams often mix people I know from various stages of my life--family, high school, college--and it's not like I'm not fuzzy enough at times over who I met where and when. Need some tenuous control over my state of mind to function semi-properly, thanks very much.

Have taken to starting to respond to people's LJ posts and then not even hitting the "post reply" button. Again. I think all my self-confidence has momentarily fled and will only return when I have a less-vague idea of what the hell I'm doing with my job. Maybe. I might also start sleeping properly at that point, which would be nice.

Also, have forgetten again how old I'm supposed to be. Chronologically speaking, I mean. When's my birthday again??
wishfulaces: (thinking ian)
Okay, here's the thing: I still cannot, for the life of me, remember that Mitchell's name is Cameron Mitchell. I always want to call him some combination of John Crichton, or Ben. Vala? I have no problem with. And I don't think of John & Aeryn when those two actors are in a scene together in SG-1. Which may or may not say something about Cam's memorability as a character, I dunno.

And here's a different thing: when my dad was here, he wanted to see the new Doctor Who. So I showed him the first and the third episodes from Eccleston's series (because, dude, who doesn't love zombies?), and it'd been a while since I've seen either of these eps and I've been immersed in Tennant's series for the past couple months anyway. And Rose was wicked awesome, at least in the first episode when there was absolutely no hint of shipping and she was the new girl asking questions and living her life and, hey, kinda saving the world a bit there. I just thoroughly despise being whacked over the head repeatedly with the Very Important Relationship Sledgehammer, which is nice to confirm.

And here's an entirely unrelated thing: I don't have homework anymore. I mean, I kinda do, 'cos I'm reading up on the local history here so when people start dropping names and places at me I won't just stare at them blankly, but...grief. I, like, have time to myself now in which I don't feel guilty for goofing off. The hell?

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