wishfulaces: (jeremy)
The Official: Embrace the horror, you work for the state now.

That line means *so* much more to me now than it did 15 years ago.

I decided a rewatch of Invisible Man was in order. It's making me happy.

Also, 64 DAYS TILL WEDDING OH SHIT BEARS. Other people apparently get joy out of these countdowns. I take a kind of masochistic glee out of checking on that number. I think I would rather invite all of you than half my family to come to the party. No, that's a lie, I think I'd just like to have two parties, one with family and one with all of you. My family's had a lot of funerals lately, they need to have a happy reason to come together and celebrate. But dammit, I would totally dig a geeky party of happiness. (Maybe we *will* figure out how to have ourselves a TARDIS wedding cake. MAYBE.)
wishfulaces: (Default)
So last month my mom and I, randomly, wrote a fairy tale. Via texts. Y'know, a sentence or two at a time, back and forth.

I cleaned it up a bit for typos, auto correct shenanigans, and my mom's inability to find the quotes on her phone )




My Auntie Ethel died yesterday. This grief is strange to me--she's been fading away for years now, mentally, to the point the past few times I've seen her I'm not always sure she remembers who I am, only that she knows and likes me; my mom today said she's been missing her sister for years, and it's true. (We used to have such conversations--she was the best aunt for a precocious pre-teen, who would sit and listen and engage; I could still talk to her about what I was studying up until grad school.) And after the wrench that was my dad last year, after the pain and duty that came after his passing, this is...strangely light. I can grieve without having to worry about who will look after mom and how the hell do I administer an estate and who will take care of the cat. I can just be sad.
wishfulaces: (Default)
HI.

I'm still alive. No, really. Just--stuff and things and life keeps happening. Seriously, when I get home from work I mostly want to curl up and play Minion Rush or something else relatively mindless.

But, can I just say, I have been totally loving on Forever? Like, this is the show where my happy place is right now, the show that I am excited about every week because OMG THERE'S A NEW EPISODE YAY. Castle is still a happy place for me, but I'm not OMG YAY about it like I am with Forever. And it's all Ioan Grufford's and Judd Hirsch's fault and they are so adorable eee I can't even and if I ever get my fic-writing mojo back there will be DW/Forever crossovers you bet your sweet bippy.

Also Agent Carter was awesome and cool and so enraging that I wanted to punch every man in the face on average at least twice an episode. Which made for a lot of wincing by my fiancé.

(Um, yes, hi, I have a fiancé now. Fiancés are cool? My engagement ring is a TARDIS. I am not kidding, y'all. ) He proposed by standing at our favorite place in the whole house--there's a step there between the kitchen and the den, so he stands at the bottom so I can stand at the top and be almost equal height with him--and asking, "So, you wanna be my companion through time and space?" BECAUSE THAT'S HOW WE ROLL, YO.)

I might disappear for months on end again. It has been known to happen. Sorry about that.
wishfulaces: (jeremy)
I'm supposed to be in a reflective mood this time of year, or something, I think, but I've been too busy. I think that sums up this year for me--I've been too busy to really think, and reflect. Maybe that's true every year, and I reflect and think more than I realize, in the in-between times: scraping out five minutes here in an airport lounge, two minutes there in the shower, ten minutes in the car on the drive between my usual cities. Maybe.

It's been a challenging year for me--challenging in the best sense of the word. I've traveled too much, I've been frustrated and disappointed at work, I'm still learning to live with another person in my life, I had surgery for the first time in my life, I've written the least amount of fic since, er, I started writing fic. Through all of it, through all of this year, the key, the theme, the important point all along--I realize more and more at the end of this year, so maybe I have had time to reflect after all--is communicating. Figuring out how the devil to communicate effectively with myself and other people should probably be my new year's resolution every year.

I'm learning. I'm still learning. That is what makes this a good year, a challenging year. I have learned so much, I have filed away so much experience and information that I will be able to continue to use in the coming years. This is how I can become the person I already am, the person I want to be.

I've gotten better at saying no when I'm overwhelmed. I've gotten better at vocalizing hurts and coming up with new ways to express ideas when the old and tried ways don't work. I'm still too ridiculously busy, and I still find myself yelling for no reason when I'm by myself (because the real, underlying reason hasn't been examined yet), but I'm getting better.

We had snow here today, so instead of holding a game night with a big group of friends, instead of going out partying at the bars, I'm hunkered down at home in my pjs, planning to cook dinner and play my new Doctor Who Monopoly game with my boyfriend who still hasn't bloody seen the show. And honestly, that seems like the best way to spend tonight.

Happy New Year, everyone. May 2013 bring good friends and good experiences.
wishfulaces: (fandom collision)
I am home. At some point, this place became home, and that was very confusing while I was home (with the parents) this weekend, because I kept talking about both places that way.

(I love driving past Chicago at night, by the way. I think it's my favorite view of Chicago, somewhere on I-90 going past the lit-up skyscrapers, all that light pollution thrown up to the sky. Hmmm.)

There was lots of pretty snow on the ground, and my mother and I had ridiculous amounts of glee cooking cornish hens, and my dad and I saw The Tourist, and while my parents still have dial-up they also perversely have digital cable so I was able in fact to watch the Doctor Who Christmas special onna tv on Christmas day and finally show off Matt Smith to my mother and explain to her my despair over accidentally discovering/confirming he is in fact 6 months younger than me ("he looks older," she said at the end of the show), and it was only two days but it was a really good two days to be home. Away from this other home. Whatever.

Also, I got two yuletide fics this year!

The Christmas Bet for yuletide, Castle, focusing on Ryan & Esposito, best background detective duo evah

and

A Mistress or a Friend, a yuletide madness goodie for me, Hannibal Sefton & Consuela from the Benjamin January novels by Barbara Hambly and OMG seriously, Hannibal Sefton is the best character since somebody Shakespearean. I sort of desperately want to write fic involving him & Julian Kestrel from the Kate Ross novels running into each other at a house party before Hannibal ran away from polite society, and then I smack myself up the head & remind myself how much I hate doing research to write.

More on the DW special )

Right, I'm going to wander off and eat a proper dinner with more substance than cereal, and possibly watch the first episode of dueSouth involving RayK, or Peter Davison as the Doctor. I am in need of comfort tonight, I think. Going/coming home is hard.
wishfulaces: (hobbit hands)
I have been meaning and meaning to post for days and could never think of anything to say by the time I got around to it. So now I shall attempt to remember everything in small bits.

* I CAN EAT STRAWBERRIES. I've been meaning to mention this for aaaaages now, particularly to [livejournal.com profile] troyswann so she knows she can serve strawberries in my presence without my spontaneously dying from proximity or something. (That never happened. Believe me.) Only one or two in any given day--that's as far as I'm willing to go anyway--but I just had a strawberry tonight with my dinner and, well, Kaylee and I would have lots to chat about if we ever met.

* I've been having really wacky and vivid dreams all week this week. This is really unusual for me; I don't dream much, or I don't remember many dreams, and not all clustered at once like this. The not-Vegas dream a couple mornings ago was probably the one I remember the best (this morning's involved my very own knock-off Leverage team getting taken out, all very dramatically, and apparently I was not-Elliot because I wanted to go in guns blazing), in which I forgot my wallet. Yes, I went to Vegas--which was apparently only three hours' drive away--and forgot my wallet and I woke up thinking, "That was the stupidest plot I've ever dreamed." I...don't even know.

* In the past three years, I have gone to Disney World, New Orleans, Memphis, and Vegas. It's like I'm trying to go to all the places notorious for where people play. And while they're all very different places, in some ways I also reacted exactly the same in each place.

Well. It made me go "Huh" when I first realized I've been doing this of late.

* I saw the new Alice tonight. The 3D glasses were a bit uncomfortable--I haven't worn 3D glasses in probably legitimately decades, and these were proper and made out of plastic and not the flimsy things of yore. And I wasn't sure how I felt about the movie while watching it--there were good bits and odd bits and bits that made me go "Why is this in this movie?"--but as soon as I walked out of the theater the world seemed a stranger and far more wonderful place. Perhaps I should practice believing impossible things before breakfast.

* And then I went to get my car washed, lost $5 because the stupid machine spat it out and I couldn't grab hold of it quickly enough, and then had to drive over those stupid guide things they put in some automatic washes to guide your tires, and I always mess up and fear that I'm doing serious damage to the underside of my car and I HATE WASHING MY CAR. Quite a lot. Only I'm even worse at it when I do it myself. Stupid car washes.

* We have exchanged snow for rain, and the world is still gray, and it seems like everyone I meet is drooping more and more. Last weekend it was nice enough--there was even some sun!--to go walking, and everyone I met was happy, and we all chatted brightly about the weather and how nice it was to be outside again. C'mon, spring. Come along and bring us some sun again.

* I have a rough draft of a story for Big Finish's contest-thingy. Only it's a terribly crap rough draft, and I am pretty apathetic about the whole thing, but my brain won't kick into gear and give me a better story idea. Hmph.

* Um. I think I'm still forgetting things. But that's the gist, at least. I really want to make carrot cake--not this weekend, maybe next?--and everything's in a strange sort of waiting limbo right now, and my summer could be ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT if it works out in my favor, only I'm afraid to breathe anything to anyone in case I jinx all of it. So. In the meantime, I shall visit friends this weekend and probably watch another episode of Simon & Simon tonight because it is currently my comfort brain food of choice.
wishfulaces: (fly)
There was a time, back in my early teenage years, when I never left the house except to go to school. I didn't want to go out in the world because everyone was looking at me.

Tonight I'm going to a play, by myself, that is sold out, and I'm going to be one out of a couple hundred people there--it's a small theatre--and I'm looking forward to being that stranger that nobody cares about. Just another face in the crowd. I've learned to love the anonymity.

Hmmm.

*

The play I'm going to see, by the way, is Evil Dead: The Musical. And last night I saw Zombieland, which was really quite good and involved the classic Road Trip trope that I probably should have expected but didn't and hey, I can get behind most any road tripping.

I really, really like running away.
wishfulaces: (travel curse)
For one week, recommend/share:

Day one: a song
Day two: a picture
Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic
Day four: a site
Day five: a youtube clip
Day six: a quote
Day seven: whatever tickles your fancy


From The Art of Travel by Alain de Botton, concerning holidaying at Barbados:

It would have seemed to observers that I was where I lay. But 'I'--that is, the conscious part of my self--had in truth abandoned the physical envelope in which it dwelt in order to worry about the future, or more specifically about the issue of whether lunches would be included in the price of the room. Two hours later, seated at a corner table in the hotel restaurant with a papaya (lunch and local taxes included), the I that had left my body on the deck chair now made another migration, quitting the island altogether to visit a troubling project scheduled for the following year.

It was as if a vital evolutionary advantage had been bestowed centuries ago on those members of the species who lived in a state of concern about what was to happen next. These ancestors might have failed to savour their experiences appropriately, but they had at least survived and shaped the character of their descendants, while their more focused siblings, at one with the moment and with the place where they stood, had met violent ends on the horns of unforeseen bison.

(pp. 22-23)

It's the unforseen bison that get me. Really, it's an excellent book, asking us to think about why we travel and what we really want when we get there and why it rarely ever quite goes the way we planned and dreamed. I'd definitely recommend reading it.
wishfulaces: (ot3!)
The Invisible Man comm [livejournal.com profile] hot_donuts is hosting a ficfest and is looking for prompts. You don't have to write in order to submit prompts. DOOOO IIIIIT!

(I should go submit some myself.)

Some of my best trip-planning happens almost entirely spontaneously. Just over a week ago a friend of mine said "We should do a road trip! STAT!" And instead of hemming and hawing as I normally would I said, "Tempt me some more!" And she said, "Long weekend!" And I said, "I could fly back instead of trying to drive back!" And now this weekend, I am going to Tennessee, Arkansas, and Louisiana. I've never been to Arkansas! I was in Tennessee for approximately three hours once! I was only in NOLA for about five hours once! This is going to be awesome. And dizzyingly quick.

One of my co-workers found a manuscript of a spiritual written in 1832. "Second Great Awakening!" I cried in excitement. Apparently the son or grandson of the guy who wrote this spiritual was an atheist. "Because he grew up during the Second Great Awakening!" I cried in excitement, and our supervisor laughed. Some days, going to work really is worth it.
wishfulaces: (travel curse)
I'm still alive. Barely. I was at a conference for, er, 2.5 days and then I was wandering across the state visiting friends and I waited till my wanderings to actually drink alcohol (vodka, WHY IS IT ALWAYS VODKA) and did not get home till the wee small's and now today I mostly want to die temporarily in a corner so I can really wake up refreshed and human again tomorrow. Just in time for work.

It probably is a good thing I made it home last night instead of this morning. Probably.

I'd never noticed my travel curse until I started flying regularly a few years ago. But no, I have always had a travel curse. It's just that when I'm driving instead of flying, the travel curse manifests itself in rainstorms that make it impossible to see two feet in front of the car when driving through major city traffic. I have come far in accepting my travel curse though because I handled it this time with barely any ruffling to my dignity and good humor. (Which probably means on my next road trip there will be an earthquake in an area where no faultlines had previously been detected. I'm sorry, future road trip destination, whatever you are, I DON'T MEAN IT.)

But, oh yes, it was awesome. Caught up with a bunch of friends in and out of the profession, attended good sessions, met new people, and only occasionally acted like an incompetent un-social ass. I call that a win. (Considering how I usually behave at conferences? Definite win. It helped that I had a friend from grad school there.) I also got to wander around one of my favorite cities (if only for the intense nostalgia) in neighborhoods I hadn't seen for probably ten years and bits I'd never seen before, so it was all very yay.

Also, I went WHOLE DAYS WITHOUT THE INTERNET. It was an experiment to see how bad my addiction was. It would have been useful to have access a few times, and I was a bit twitchy without it, but I survived. So there, internets addiction. SO THERE.

Now I'm going to go watch telly. Online. Ho hum.
wishfulaces: (history geek cred)
Things about my job that are weird:
1. Running water.
2. I have a cubicle rather than an office.
3. People. So many people that I have not met them all and do not remember most names yet.
3. There are IT people. To fix things for me. (They also have to give me passwords. Which can be frustrating when I have to wait.)
4. Internet in the stacks. Sure, it's hard-wired and means 100 foot extension cords and ethernet cables, but I can still access the Internet. (Kinda have to in order to access the database I'm working with.)
5. Working with a collections management database that is still in development even as we use it. (Things change! Within minutes! That wasn't there five seconds ago when I opened that other record!)
6. MARC tags and subject headings. I DID NOT GO TO LIBRARY SCHOOL. Yet.

Things that are not weird about my job:
1. Box monkey.
2. Weird interpersonal dynamics among the staff.
3. Did I mention the box schlepping? Working in tight and awkward corners? SO FAMILIAR.

After living month-to-month, pretty much literally, for eight months, thinking a little more long-term is...odd, again. I can bake again (most of my baking stuff I left in storage). I have SPACE again, to run around and dance and be stupid in my apartment. I shall be able to decorate again, at least in the half-assed way that I usually do, whenever I get around to that sort of thing. This week is crazy due to overwhelming newness on all kinds of levels, and I'm just waiting for my brain to reset, I think.
wishfulaces: (company picnic)
This is how my week has gone:

1. Accept new job.
2. Begin apartment hunt in different state.
3. Completely bust cell phone. (It's been dying since about March or April, but I was trying to make it hold out until I got somewhere more settled. Apparently that ain't quite gonna happen.)
4. Leave purse at work, so I have to write friend a check to pay my half of the pizza. An out-of-state check, no less, because my other check book is in my purse.
5. Play The Game of Real Life with said friend. It's sort of like regular ol' Life, and it's sort of like an RPG in that you're given diary sheets in order to write up your character's life story as you go along making your moves. We played two games; both times I ended up playing a man. Henry, my first character, was a total stoner bum who went through his admittedly brief life with a happy-go-lucky air. (He got eaten in a Donner party incident. Probably by his stoner friends who had the munchies.) Walter, my second character, had an amazingly stable and well-adjusted family life considering his career was as a prostitute. (He in fact died at a respectably advanced age of a broken heart when his son George died before him.) It was a bit surreal.
6. Attempt to do more apartment hunting--via email, since the whole cell phone issue is a problem and I have no long distance on my landline. Firefox decides it doesn't feel like cooperating.

And I can't pick up one of those change-of-address packets from the post office because it's Labor Day weekend. I really only wanted it for the potential moving company coupons. Hmph. It also doesn't help that this is probably the worst time of year to be apartment-hunting and nobody has two-bedroom apartments available. Or so it feels like to me. Have I mentioned that I hate moving? I will be mentioning it. A lot.

And in the midst of all this, the attempt to wrap up work. This is the second time in less than a year that I have been left to wrap up a project as quickly and completely as possible because I know nobody else will be able to get to it anytime in the near future. IT'S GETTING OLD.
wishfulaces: (robert frost is a poetry hero)
Things that I have discovered about Texan drivers in the past 24 hours:
1. Half of them drive five miles below the speed limit.
2. Half of them drive ten miles above the speed limit.
(That's assuming the speed limit is even posted at all, of course.)
3. The people driving five miles below the speed limit are in the left lane.
4. The people driving ten miles above the speed limit are wherever they feel like, whether you're there or not.
5. There are way too many semis on the interstate.
5a. Often in the left lane.

I have cursed the occasional Kansan driver. Colorado drivers bring me rage. I never want to drive in Texas again.

And if there are screaming babies on my flights next week, I...might have to invest in earplugs.
wishfulaces: (travel curse)
People in airports are fucking selfish. I mean, yeah, people are generally pretty self-centered, but by god. We were getting onto a flight--which had been delayed a little bit by weather, and it was still raining, and it was a little prop plane so we had to run out in the rain to get to it, and people kept getting held up because the people in front were putting their bags away, the usual thing--and some woman behind me was like, "This is absurd, can't we just get moving?" And the flight attendant said, "We're all in this together, ma'am," and the woman was like, "And that's supposed to make me feel better?" and was generally incredibly rude. (Yes, dear, it's her fault that it's RAINING. She'll get right on making sure that stops so everything goes your way from now on.) And then the plane was delayed even longer due to various things, not all of them weather-related, and a great majority of people continued to be bitchy, unhelpful, whiny, and a general emotional drain to the flight attendants and other passengers.

Earlier, on my first flight of the day, the crew told us we were grounded due to the weather at our destination, and the lady sitting next to me was like "What's the problem? I mean, I know they take off in snow." I said something about there might be lightning, but that didn't seem to hold any sway with her. So, yeah, sorry, safety doesn't count when you're in a hurry to get somewhere, apparently.

Fuck off, people.

Of course, if I hear one more toddler wailing, I might have to fucking kill something. My first flight I was surrounded by five babies--like six to twenty-four months old, probably in that range--and four of them spent most of their time on the plane screaming, kicking, and wriggling. [ETA: The fifth one spent the entire time sleeping on his father's chest and was actually rather adorable, as sleeping babies WHO ARE NOT SCREAMING tend to be.] Don't get me wrong, I've spent a lot of the past year wishing I could get away with that kind of behavior myself, and I really do understand that when you're that young and things aren't going your way for whatever reason, that's about the only response you know, but when it grates along my entire nervous system to hear that screaming, it's not particularly pleasant. Note to self: if you ever have children, NEVER LET THEM OUT OF THE HOUSE IN PUBLIC TO DESTROY OTHER PEOPLE'S SOULS.

Wait. That doesn't seem quite right.

Also, my cell fake-suicided after I dropped it on the ground in the rain, so this day is made of complete and utter win. I think I managed to resuscitate it, but its days are even more numbered than my car's.
wishfulaces: (company picnic)

My Time Lord Name is Mosdrashytonytanmorenoldacheengoldilden.
Take The Time Lord Name Generator today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.



Yes, my Time Lord name has more letters in it than some alphabets. Can you imagine trying to spell that over the phone when setting up doctor's appointments?

I am cranky because LIFE IS INSANE AND HAS EXPLODED ON ME. Again. And because internet servers everywhere apparently crash the instant I come near them, considering neither my work network connection nor my home internet were working for a while there. Also, I fear that my travel curse has started to spread itself across entire states in order to screw up flight arrangements not even made by me. I hope I'm wrong about that. I really, really do. I HATE YOU, TRAVEL CURSE.

Anyway.
wishfulaces: (dance)
Me: 4 flights. Travel curse: eh, about one. Couple delays, one outgoing, one incoming, nothing too serious. SO THERE, TRAVEL CURSE.

Flying out of Seattle last night, the sunset and twilight sky was smudged and smeared into an impressionist painting.

Driving past the rest area right outside my current town around three this morning, all the semis were tucked in for the night, huddled together in the parking lot. You know you're exhausted when you're anthropomorphizing--and making cute--very large trucks.

Having seen Wall-E this weekend, I can tell you that the songs and clips used connected directly into the childhood happy-making centers of my brain. YAAAAAAAAAY. *finds a straw boater and starts dancing*

And now I need to go run around town with a half-dozen errands. Woo.
wishfulaces: (red herring)
It has not actually struck again (yet), but I did have a dream the other morning that involved missing my flight due to the APOCALYPSE. So if the aliens land or there's a plague of locusts tomorrow morning, I apologize in advance. SORRY, EVERYONE.

On a different surreal note, you must all go listen to these audios: The Misadventures of Sherlock Holmes. These things are hilarious, which I already knew, but I did not know how hilarious until I got to listen to the completed products. I'm listening to the fourth episode now and Carstairs the butler is the best butler since Tim Curry, honest.

And, uh, I should be doing more significant things than goofing off online right now. Dammit.
wishfulaces: (travel curse)
I have a travel curse. I don't care how unreasonable, illogical, irrational, and silly this superstition of mine truly is; I HAVE A TRAVEL CURSE. When it worked in my favor on Friday, though? That terrified me. (My first plane was delayed by 35 minutes; I had a tight connection that I would have missed, but I wished really, really hard for my connecting flight to be delayed AND IT WAS. By about two hours. For my next trick: I shall make all the traffic lights turn green in my favor, whenever I feel like it.)

Today on the plane the nicest thing happened though--I was dozing, wearing my headphones, and I started sneezing. As I frantically shuffled through my extra-large traveling purse for tissues, something caught my eye and I looked up to see the man in front of me--also wearing headphones--holding up a napkin with "God Bless You" penciled in large, friendly letters. I laughed and mouthed a "thank you" at him, after I'd blown my nose.

And I had no internet access all weekend, and I have absolutely no energy now, so if anything terribly exciting happened, please point me toward it as I am not going to go looking for myself. (I still have comments to respond to on that fic I posted! Oh energy, come back to me! Thank the gods I took tomorrow off from work.)
wishfulaces: (jeremy)
I seem to be contemplating three trips requiring airplanes, all in the next three months. Despite the sure knowledge that I will be unemployed again in two months. And all of these trips are to visit friends and family, not for job interviews or anything silly like that. And this is not including the numerous times I'm going to have to drive a couple hours each way to a nearby city in the next month for various meetings and the like, for which I will be lucky if I get any mileage compensation whatsoever. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

Unrelatedly, I have discovered that while I'm right-side dominant I'm left-eye dominant. Which, wow, that's really cool actually.

And on a fannish note, I insanely want to write a commentary on one of my fics. Any fic, really. It's so horribly "whee, lookit me, I such an awesome writer!" and yet I want to do it anyway. Blah.

Finally, in wonky weather news, it is now snowing. HUZZAH. Next up: frogs raining down. Or back to the locusts. I can't wait. Maybe a tornado will whisk me away over the rainbow to Oz where I will find the perfect job waiting for me. Yeah, right.

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